This touches my cranky, crispy heart in regard to my spouse with dementia. I’m going to hang a large photo of him and his upright bass back in his cool jazz musician and another of him & his horse.
Oh, Michele - yesssss - what a beautiful thing to do... to hang those photos as a reminder of the whole story, not just the chapter you’re in now. He’s still in there. The music, the horse, the whole life. Thank you for letting us see him through your eyes. Sending love to both of you today. xoxo
If we're fortunate enough to live to 'old age', that's a blessing itself. Every day is a gift and should be enjoyed to the fullest. One of my favorite comments when I choose to do something out of my range is, "I'll be dead a long time so I might as well enjoy all I can while I'm still able". So your knees, hips, back, hands and many other assorted parts don't work like they used to...SO WHAT??!! One can still enjoy music, theater, life, babies' laughter, nature, pets, friends, laughter etc. etc. but just at a slower pace. It ain't over, 'til it's OVER!
Love your mantra: “I’ll be dead a long time so I might as well enjoy all I can while I’m still able” YES! Love your attitude.. and your list of so many things to enjoy! Totally with you!
If we are lucky, one day we will look at that younger person and think, 'that used to be me'. It would be so nice to be able to look back and remember a compassionate, loving, younger me treating older people with gentleness, respect, and curiosity. When I forget, I remember this thought: one day, if I am lucky enough to get there, that will be me.
What most people do not acknowledge: The older people of today are the last pearls of truth wisdom and true values left. They hold such valuable memory. It is a shame not to give them our time. xo
Danni, this is beautiful and exactly it... that is the kind of memory I want to leave behind too. A younger me who remembered to see the soul beneath the slowness! xo right back at you!
This is super lovely. ImHO the gifts of older people are also the gifts of the youngest which is encourage us to slow down but with older people we have the benefit of wisdom. The thing is that often we have treated older people so badly they are scarred and have become cranky curmudgeons and it takes a lot to get past that shell to a place in which they feel appreciated and still giving to society. Let’s face it in a capitalist construct if you’re not a profit producer you are looked at as less-than, so honoring our elders (as well our younglings) is revolutionary
This! Yes! Yes... to slowing down. Yes... to honoring the ones who’ve lived enough to know. And yes... to cracking through those protective crusts we sometimes build just to feel safe. I’m here for it all!
Indeed, the dominant narrative, wonderfully spoken. However, narratives are subject to change, and as authors ourselves, we must write some new chapters, not have the culture be the author, editor, and publisher.
YES, exactly. We’re not just living inside a story.... we’re holding the pen. I’m all for yanking it back from the culture’s fingers and scrawling something soulful, inspiring and true. Thanks for seeing that.
Your writing brought tears to my eyes. I’m grieving the loss of my youth along with other related losses. You is something I once took for granted. Now
Donna, I’m sending a hug through the screen. Many of us are quietly grieving those earlier versions of ourselves while trying to make peace with aging. You're not alone in that feeling. 💛
But ask before you help them, because older people are not all infirm, and not all infirm people are old, and while everybody needs some help now and then, everybody also likes to be given a choice where possible 💕
Youth is not a personal accomplishment, as young people are often tempted to believe. It's just a state, and one that goes away from us all, like water falling through our fingers.
One of the best poems about this in English is by Dylan Thomas: "Fern Hill". It's beautiful, evocative and poignant.
Oh, Fern Hill... my heart. That line, “Time held me green and dying,” gets me every time. And yes to what you said: youth isn’t an achievement, it’s just… a rental. Thank you for this reminder, and for sharing that beautiful poem.
It's as if we have something thrown over our head when we are born. In our childhood and youth, we think it's a lovely necklace, it's so loose.
But as we get older we realise that it's not a necklace but a noose, and each year Time draws it a little tighter. We cannot take it off. Eventually the noose will strangle us of course.
Does this sound too negative? Perhaps. But it's the reality. Affronted by Time, for some people this realisation is the beginning of a religious search, while others just accept that there is nothing to be done and the inevitable must be bravely faced.
I wish this was on Medium. If it was I'd be highlighting EVERY sentence! (At the same time, though, the highlighting function on Medium annoys me! Lol) but 👏 yes! to all of this!
I used to buy the coolest cars. Sleek and colorful. Now I’m looking to buy my last new car. I don’t want all the bells and whistles. I don’t need the distractions. I just want something comfortable, right-sized, and a cup holder for my coffee.
Funny how growing older means wanting less flash and more peace. ... I'm with you .. give me the quiet cozy car with the hot beverage I don’t spill. Enjoy the ride!
Karen, this is so true… and so lovely the way you’ve written it!
Thanks so much Debbie! Happy this resonated with you! Enjoy your Sunday!
This touches my cranky, crispy heart in regard to my spouse with dementia. I’m going to hang a large photo of him and his upright bass back in his cool jazz musician and another of him & his horse.
Oh, Michele - yesssss - what a beautiful thing to do... to hang those photos as a reminder of the whole story, not just the chapter you’re in now. He’s still in there. The music, the horse, the whole life. Thank you for letting us see him through your eyes. Sending love to both of you today. xoxo
If we're fortunate enough to live to 'old age', that's a blessing itself. Every day is a gift and should be enjoyed to the fullest. One of my favorite comments when I choose to do something out of my range is, "I'll be dead a long time so I might as well enjoy all I can while I'm still able". So your knees, hips, back, hands and many other assorted parts don't work like they used to...SO WHAT??!! One can still enjoy music, theater, life, babies' laughter, nature, pets, friends, laughter etc. etc. but just at a slower pace. It ain't over, 'til it's OVER!
Love your mantra: “I’ll be dead a long time so I might as well enjoy all I can while I’m still able” YES! Love your attitude.. and your list of so many things to enjoy! Totally with you!
If we are lucky, one day we will look at that younger person and think, 'that used to be me'. It would be so nice to be able to look back and remember a compassionate, loving, younger me treating older people with gentleness, respect, and curiosity. When I forget, I remember this thought: one day, if I am lucky enough to get there, that will be me.
What most people do not acknowledge: The older people of today are the last pearls of truth wisdom and true values left. They hold such valuable memory. It is a shame not to give them our time. xo
Danni, this is beautiful and exactly it... that is the kind of memory I want to leave behind too. A younger me who remembered to see the soul beneath the slowness! xo right back at you!
And we will. xo
This is super lovely. ImHO the gifts of older people are also the gifts of the youngest which is encourage us to slow down but with older people we have the benefit of wisdom. The thing is that often we have treated older people so badly they are scarred and have become cranky curmudgeons and it takes a lot to get past that shell to a place in which they feel appreciated and still giving to society. Let’s face it in a capitalist construct if you’re not a profit producer you are looked at as less-than, so honoring our elders (as well our younglings) is revolutionary
This! Yes! Yes... to slowing down. Yes... to honoring the ones who’ve lived enough to know. And yes... to cracking through those protective crusts we sometimes build just to feel safe. I’m here for it all!
Well said! And keep in mind... The old guy is still fumbling with bra clasps.
LOL! You got me to literally laugh out loud with that response!
Indeed, the dominant narrative, wonderfully spoken. However, narratives are subject to change, and as authors ourselves, we must write some new chapters, not have the culture be the author, editor, and publisher.
YES, exactly. We’re not just living inside a story.... we’re holding the pen. I’m all for yanking it back from the culture’s fingers and scrawling something soulful, inspiring and true. Thanks for seeing that.
The elderly are my favorite people on the planet. That’s why my volunteer work is dedicated to them (and kittens, lol) ❤️🙌
Kittens AND elderly people? Love it! What a beautiful way to spend your time & energy. You’re my kind of person. ❤️
Thank you Karen! 🫶
A little shameless promotion here of my book which I know you will enjoy (I know @Karen Salmansohn won’t mind!). It’s about how women in their 90s and beyond inspired me to embrace aging instead of dreading it. https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/1640657134/ref=tmm_hrd_swatch_0?ie=UTF8&dib_tag=se&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.FPsc2Jh30KHHKjz-9D5h2QFaZK1UwDgvprLvxKpHtFCg0BFhzXX8I0M5FYDiocZwZ6rmHY4n6WgCBero4gVAVxT2k_T9_gq1gxmAj6G0vMvhyJ9sEMmcVyjuBQBmq4WKhhWmeHW1ORKcZMrITktS_yZuTIpmeEmdtsiGT5DRYfAI6fsy4CgRZxtQgAM0HaCWTPEK7vS1l348XOOXd723xg.1GU2knfHzOHG07I8nYzYnJ06q7lrVQeHu64JS-QWaVg&qid=1746191336&sr=8-1
Your writing brought tears to my eyes. I’m grieving the loss of my youth along with other related losses. You is something I once took for granted. Now
Donna, I’m sending a hug through the screen. Many of us are quietly grieving those earlier versions of ourselves while trying to make peace with aging. You're not alone in that feeling. 💛
But ask before you help them, because older people are not all infirm, and not all infirm people are old, and while everybody needs some help now and then, everybody also likes to be given a choice where possible 💕
Holly, yes! I love this nuance. The desire to help and the deep human need for dignity and agency. Thank you for adding that very thoughtful note. 💕
Beautiful!
Evelyn, thank you! I appreciate you taking the time to share support for my writing! 💕
Youth is not a personal accomplishment, as young people are often tempted to believe. It's just a state, and one that goes away from us all, like water falling through our fingers.
One of the best poems about this in English is by Dylan Thomas: "Fern Hill". It's beautiful, evocative and poignant.
https://allpoetry.com/poem/16358291-Fern-Hill-by-Dylan-Thomas-adult
Oh, Fern Hill... my heart. That line, “Time held me green and dying,” gets me every time. And yes to what you said: youth isn’t an achievement, it’s just… a rental. Thank you for this reminder, and for sharing that beautiful poem.
How nice to hear that you like the poem too. :)
It's as if we have something thrown over our head when we are born. In our childhood and youth, we think it's a lovely necklace, it's so loose.
But as we get older we realise that it's not a necklace but a noose, and each year Time draws it a little tighter. We cannot take it off. Eventually the noose will strangle us of course.
Does this sound too negative? Perhaps. But it's the reality. Affronted by Time, for some people this realisation is the beginning of a religious search, while others just accept that there is nothing to be done and the inevitable must be bravely faced.
What’s to be done is to LIVE!
For sure. I'm not advocating a depressed outlook on life. It's just that we can't hold on to it for ever.
Beautiful! And oh-so-poignant!
Thank you, Patricia! I’m grateful it resonated.
I wish this was on Medium. If it was I'd be highlighting EVERY sentence! (At the same time, though, the highlighting function on Medium annoys me! Lol) but 👏 yes! to all of this!
Thank you for reading with such big-hearted enthusiasm. 💛 And...I so get the love/hate with the Medium highlight tool!
I used to buy the coolest cars. Sleek and colorful. Now I’m looking to buy my last new car. I don’t want all the bells and whistles. I don’t need the distractions. I just want something comfortable, right-sized, and a cup holder for my coffee.
Funny how growing older means wanting less flash and more peace. ... I'm with you .. give me the quiet cozy car with the hot beverage I don’t spill. Enjoy the ride!
What a beautiful reminder! Thank you so much for sharing this!
Thank you, Kathleen! It felt like something that needed to be said out loud... and I’m grateful it resonated with you. 💛