It’s true younger me had a super hot body… and I wouldn’t go back a day. I’ve never felt healthier (thx to many RX ), never been happier, or more content. More of NOW is my highest priority.
Thanks Arielle!! Yessss... Hot body, sure… but I wouldn’t trade the internal upgrade for anything. “More of NOW is my highest priority” is such a good line. That feels like the real flex. ❤️
Every cell in our body is replaced every 7-10 years, which means I’m now Scott 6.0 (at least). Never felt better. Never was better. And definitely never loved myself more than I do now!
I believed too many people when I was younger. Like my college advisor who talked me out of going to medical school because I would spend a fortune on tuition and then get married at 25 and have wasted a spot a man could have taken. I swear that if I saw him today in a crosswalk I would flatten his ass in a heartbeat.
Oh Donna… that makes my blood boil with you. The casual theft of women’s futures disguised as “practical advice.” I support your crosswalk rage completely. And I’m so glad you trusted yourself anyway. ❤️
Since I went out with you as your younger college self, I think you were among the most positive, happy go lucky girl friends I had. And if you were faking things, maybe its not to late to be an actor.
Heyyy Michael! First of all, this made me laugh. Second: I was happy-go-lucky in a very real way… and also very good at smoothing over discomfort. Both can be true. And if acting were involved, it was less “Oscar-worthy” and more “trying to survive and be liked.”
Also: flattered you remember me that way. Truly. 😄 (I remember you fondly too!)
I've missed you lately! Great article––and at 87 I find that all the good things about aging become even more so. Lots to look forward to (had the best sex of my life for a few years starting at 78! Not only because of a skilled lover but the shedding of inhibitions and societal and religious constraints had changed me! Hallelujah! Too bad he turned out to be an alcoholic malignant narcissist on the spectrum.)
Hi Patricia! Starting to return more to Substack - and happy to see you in the comments! Plus... I just want to say: you are officially my hero. Best sex at 78! Love it! I always appreciate what you have to share... your writing style, perspectives and stories! ❤️
Patricia is right about sex, except I would simply say it is as good as ever. She had a new partner at 78. I have had the same loving, thoughtful husband since I was 21 (which means at 83, we have been married for 62 years, which sounds boring only it's not boring at all). Everyone assumes that sex disappears or gets worse. Not remotely true. It just continues to be an entrancing activity with much variety. You can read https://arichardson.substack.com/p/when-do-people-stop-having-sex if you like.
PPS. I meant to preface this request by a big thank you for your comments. I was writing it on a bus on my phone, which is never a good idea. I am completely at home on my computer but am a fish out of water on my phone. Phones happened when I was already old. Anyway, I am very touched by your enthusiasm!
I am very reluctant to ask this but if you would be kind enough to recommend my Substack, it would be brilliant. I am older but far behind in the subscription business. ❤️
Karen, I always adore your humor - it makes tough messages so hearable!
Weirdly, I don’t envy younger me at all. She was a smart, good-hearted, accomplished person (as I am now), who was doing her absolute best raising kids, dealing with a nice but not-full-partner husband, building a business, supporting the family…it was a lot.
My life now is about 5 times easier and about 3 times more enjoyable. I feel incredibly lucky every day.
Hi Erika! Thanks for your warm and kind note! I agree with all you say! And I love how much compassion you have for your younger self .. Also “5 times easier and 3 times more enjoyable” feels like very accurate midlife math!
I loved this article. I am so happy that we get to grow older. I would not trade that for anything. I resonated with the 'being open' and letting in the toxins 20's phase. I am happy to be reserved and enjoy my own company most of the time!
Thank you! And I love what you're saying here! Growing older really is a privilege... and so is getting more selective about where we put our love, time, energy. Being open without discernment felt brave back then… but it was exhausting! xo
Loved this! I could post on the male version of this (maybe I will)…you inspire me!
…once again your authentic sharing of your experience makes me pull just that much more of my own shame out into the light,
where Brene Brown says it will melt like the Wicked Witch in water…(the Wizard of Oz Wicked Witch, not the slight deceptive latest version from “Wicked!”)
What you write doesn't end where you are. Life gets easier and easier (unless you get ill, which is another story, but is not inevitable) as you age. At 79, I wrote a whole book about how and why I liked being old (The Granny Who Stands on her Head) and am preparing another to be called Age 83 with Potential. You are absolutely right in what you say, but it's important to realise that you are moving forward (I never use the cliche 'journey' if I can help it) but not reached the top. Neither have I.
Ann, I love everything about this ...especially “moving forward” without the J-word (I’m with you 😄). Age 83 with Potential is such a great title. And I deeply agree: this isn’t the top of anything.... it’s an unfolding. Your perspective at 79 is such a gift to those of us a few steps behind. Thank you for sharing it here. And thank you for all you share on The Granny Who Stands on her Head. xo
Thank you, Janie! Yhat really means a lot. I’m so glad it resonated. Sometimes it’s just a relief to hear someone say those unspoken/quiet thing out loud.
Adulting is still a challenge as we age. The circumstances change and learning to adapt becomes easier when we use what we have learned over the years to our advantage. I stopped looking for ways to be perfect in other people’s eyes in my mid 50s and my mindset 20 years later is something I wanted in my 20’s, 30’s and 40’s. Once more the old adage of “if I only knew then what I know now” rings true like the 9:00 am School Bell. But thankfully, my hubby still thinks I have a cute ass. 😉
Laura ... this is such a wise take. Yes to all of this. Stopping the “be perfect for other people” Olympics is truly a midlife superpower. And I love the cute ass endorsement from your husband. 😄
This is so true and honest. Happier now than I ever was in my younger, sexier self. I adore how funny and accurate you are about all kinds of touchy subjects. Awesome!
It’s true younger me had a super hot body… and I wouldn’t go back a day. I’ve never felt healthier (thx to many RX ), never been happier, or more content. More of NOW is my highest priority.
Thanks Arielle!! Yessss... Hot body, sure… but I wouldn’t trade the internal upgrade for anything. “More of NOW is my highest priority” is such a good line. That feels like the real flex. ❤️
Fancy meeting you here Arielle! Of course you and my new friend Karen know each other!
I love when people I know and love also know and love each other!
Every cell in our body is replaced every 7-10 years, which means I’m now Scott 6.0 (at least). Never felt better. Never was better. And definitely never loved myself more than I do now!
I love this framing. Fewer bugs. Better operating system. And the self-love upgrade might be the most important feature of all. ❤️
I believed too many people when I was younger. Like my college advisor who talked me out of going to medical school because I would spend a fortune on tuition and then get married at 25 and have wasted a spot a man could have taken. I swear that if I saw him today in a crosswalk I would flatten his ass in a heartbeat.
Oh Donna… that makes my blood boil with you. The casual theft of women’s futures disguised as “practical advice.” I support your crosswalk rage completely. And I’m so glad you trusted yourself anyway. ❤️
Yes, run that asshole over - a couple times! 🤬
lol! ❤️
Lived and loved this. Wish I could say I've never been happier but I am more aware that every action matters.
I love how you put this. Not “happier” exactly — but more aware....more awake... Like… less autopilot, more intention. I fully support this! ❤️
Since I went out with you as your younger college self, I think you were among the most positive, happy go lucky girl friends I had. And if you were faking things, maybe its not to late to be an actor.
Heyyy Michael! First of all, this made me laugh. Second: I was happy-go-lucky in a very real way… and also very good at smoothing over discomfort. Both can be true. And if acting were involved, it was less “Oscar-worthy” and more “trying to survive and be liked.”
Also: flattered you remember me that way. Truly. 😄 (I remember you fondly too!)
I've missed you lately! Great article––and at 87 I find that all the good things about aging become even more so. Lots to look forward to (had the best sex of my life for a few years starting at 78! Not only because of a skilled lover but the shedding of inhibitions and societal and religious constraints had changed me! Hallelujah! Too bad he turned out to be an alcoholic malignant narcissist on the spectrum.)
Hi Patricia! Starting to return more to Substack - and happy to see you in the comments! Plus... I just want to say: you are officially my hero. Best sex at 78! Love it! I always appreciate what you have to share... your writing style, perspectives and stories! ❤️
Patricia is right about sex, except I would simply say it is as good as ever. She had a new partner at 78. I have had the same loving, thoughtful husband since I was 21 (which means at 83, we have been married for 62 years, which sounds boring only it's not boring at all). Everyone assumes that sex disappears or gets worse. Not remotely true. It just continues to be an entrancing activity with much variety. You can read https://arichardson.substack.com/p/when-do-people-stop-having-sex if you like.
Love this essay - thanks for sharing! Love all you write about actually!! ❤️❤️❤️
PPS. I meant to preface this request by a big thank you for your comments. I was writing it on a bus on my phone, which is never a good idea. I am completely at home on my computer but am a fish out of water on my phone. Phones happened when I was already old. Anyway, I am very touched by your enthusiasm!
PS. I NEVER use emojis!!
I am very reluctant to ask this but if you would be kind enough to recommend my Substack, it would be brilliant. I am older but far behind in the subscription business. ❤️
Karen, I always adore your humor - it makes tough messages so hearable!
Weirdly, I don’t envy younger me at all. She was a smart, good-hearted, accomplished person (as I am now), who was doing her absolute best raising kids, dealing with a nice but not-full-partner husband, building a business, supporting the family…it was a lot.
My life now is about 5 times easier and about 3 times more enjoyable. I feel incredibly lucky every day.
Hi Erika! Thanks for your warm and kind note! I agree with all you say! And I love how much compassion you have for your younger self .. Also “5 times easier and 3 times more enjoyable” feels like very accurate midlife math!
😊
I loved this article. I am so happy that we get to grow older. I would not trade that for anything. I resonated with the 'being open' and letting in the toxins 20's phase. I am happy to be reserved and enjoy my own company most of the time!
Thank you! And I love what you're saying here! Growing older really is a privilege... and so is getting more selective about where we put our love, time, energy. Being open without discernment felt brave back then… but it was exhausting! xo
Love this - I did the same thing, thinking I was fat. Boy, I'd sure love to be that weight again!
Right?? Isn’t it wild how convinced we were we were “fat” back then?!
Loved this! I could post on the male version of this (maybe I will)…you inspire me!
…once again your authentic sharing of your experience makes me pull just that much more of my own shame out into the light,
where Brene Brown says it will melt like the Wicked Witch in water…(the Wizard of Oz Wicked Witch, not the slight deceptive latest version from “Wicked!”)
THANKS!!
Jonathon, I love this so much.... especially the idea of a male version. Please do it.
And yes to shame melting in the light (excellent Wizard of Oz clarification, by the way 😂).
That’s exactly why I write this way ... not to overshare, but to make it safer for all of us to say, “Oh… me too."
What you write doesn't end where you are. Life gets easier and easier (unless you get ill, which is another story, but is not inevitable) as you age. At 79, I wrote a whole book about how and why I liked being old (The Granny Who Stands on her Head) and am preparing another to be called Age 83 with Potential. You are absolutely right in what you say, but it's important to realise that you are moving forward (I never use the cliche 'journey' if I can help it) but not reached the top. Neither have I.
Ann, I love everything about this ...especially “moving forward” without the J-word (I’m with you 😄). Age 83 with Potential is such a great title. And I deeply agree: this isn’t the top of anything.... it’s an unfolding. Your perspective at 79 is such a gift to those of us a few steps behind. Thank you for sharing it here. And thank you for all you share on The Granny Who Stands on her Head. xo
Terrific post. This really resonated with me. Thank you.
Thank you, Janie! Yhat really means a lot. I’m so glad it resonated. Sometimes it’s just a relief to hear someone say those unspoken/quiet thing out loud.
Great article thank you 🙏 really touched me
Thank you, Ninoska 🙏 That really means a lot to me. I’m glad it landed ... this one felt very honest (and a little scary) to put out there.
Adulting is still a challenge as we age. The circumstances change and learning to adapt becomes easier when we use what we have learned over the years to our advantage. I stopped looking for ways to be perfect in other people’s eyes in my mid 50s and my mindset 20 years later is something I wanted in my 20’s, 30’s and 40’s. Once more the old adage of “if I only knew then what I know now” rings true like the 9:00 am School Bell. But thankfully, my hubby still thinks I have a cute ass. 😉
Laura ... this is such a wise take. Yes to all of this. Stopping the “be perfect for other people” Olympics is truly a midlife superpower. And I love the cute ass endorsement from your husband. 😄
😊 Me too.
This is so true and honest. Happier now than I ever was in my younger, sexier self. I adore how funny and accurate you are about all kinds of touchy subjects. Awesome!
Thank you, Lyn.... So glad this resoonated... and thank you for the generous words. 💛
Love the Midlife you. Kind of same vibe as the LQ4 me. We should get them together sometime.